Ah, periods. Nature’s little monthly reminder that you’re not pregnant, but also not allowed to be happy for a few days. If you’re reading this while curled up on the couch with a heating pad, chocolate bar, and a side of existential despair, welcome.
You’re not alone. We’re here to break down all the joys (read: BS) of period symptoms, commiserate with you, and sprinkle in some much-needed humor because if we don’t laugh, we’ll cry.
Let’s look into what’s happening in your body when Aunt Flo rolls into town and how to survive it without wanting to strangle anyone.
What Are Period Symptoms, and Why Do They Feel Like Betrayal?
Period symptoms are your body’s way of letting you know that your uterus is working overtime to shed its lining.
This delightful process comes courtesy of fluctuating hormone levels, which can affect everything from your mood to your appetite to your ability to not scream at someone for breathing too loudly.
Thanks, hormones. We love you.
They typically begin around five days before your period starts, hence the term Premenstrual Syndrome aka. PMS, and can last until 4 days into your period.
Common Period Symptoms Include:
- Cramps: As if your uterus is auditioning for Cirque du Soleil.
- Bloating: Suddenly, you’re 90% water and 10% rage.
- Mood swings: Crying over a dog food commercial one minute, ready to run for president the next.
- Fatigue: Coffee? Never heard of her.
- Breast tenderness: Aka, “Don’t even look at them.”
- Acne: Because having your period isn’t punishment enough.
- Digestive issues: Period poop. Need we say more?
- Headaches: Your brain’s way of joining in on the monthly chaos.
- Lower back pain: Because apparently, your uterus needed backup dancers.
- Muscle aches: Like you’ve run a marathon – except you’ve only sprinted to the fridge.
- Trouble sleeping: Nights spent tossing, turning, and debating life choices.
If this list feels like a personal attack, don’t worry – we’ll unpack each symptom and how to manage it.
The Full Drama Breakdown: What Each Symptom Feels Like
Cramps (The Uterus Tantrum)
Cramps feel like your uterus is angrily trying to evict its lining with the intensity of an angry landlord with a nightmare tenant. They can range from mild discomfort to full-on “I can’t move; the floor is my home now” levels of pain.
How to Cope:
- Heating pads are your new best friend.
- Over-the-counter painkillers like ibuprofen can work wonders.
- Gentle stretching or yoga (if you can manage it) might ease the tension. Or, you know, just lay in bed and curse the patriarchy.
Bloating (The Inflatable You)
Bloating makes you feel like a human water balloon that might pop at any second. Nothing fits right; everything feels tight, and just ugh.
How to Cope:
- Cut back on salty foods (yes, chips too. I’m sorry).
- Drink lots of water to flush out the bloating. I know it sounds counterintuitive but trust me.
- Wear stretchy pants. Bonus points if you’re calling them “loungewear,” but they’re actually your ten-year-old pajamas with holes in them.
Mood Swings (The Emotional Rollercoaster)
One minute, you’re laughing at memes, and the next, you’re crying because someone said “hi” in a weird tone.
How to Cope:
- Acknowledge that your feelings are valid, even if they’re fueled by hormones.
- Take deep breaths, meditate, or scream into a pillow if needed.
- Chocolate. Lots of chocolate.
Fatigue (Your Body’s Way of Saying ‘Nap Time’)
Why are you so tired? Because your body is literally shedding an organ lining. That’s why.
How to Cope:
- Rest whenever possible. (Easier said than done, but try.)
- Snack on energy-boosting foods like nuts, fruit, or anything that isn’t a sugary trap. (This is a case of ‘do as I say, not as I do’)
- Coffee is fine in moderation, but don’t overdo it, or you’ll crash harder than your mood swings.
Breast Tenderness (Don’t Touch Me)
Your boobs might feel like overripe peaches – soft, sensitive, and absolutely not up for grabs.
How to Cope:
- Wear a supportive, comfy bra – or none at all – if that’s your vibe. (Free the nips.)
- Avoid caffeine and salty foods, which can make tenderness worse.
- Ice packs or warm compresses can help soothe the pain.
Acne (Hormonal Sabotage)
Period acne shows up uninvited and overstays its welcome. Forever the uninvited guest who doesn’t know how to take a hint.
How to Cope:
- Use gentle skincare products to avoid irritating your skin further.
- Avoid touching your face (I know, it’s hard).
- Consider products with acne-fighting properties, such as salicylic acid or benzoyl peroxide, to keep breakouts away. But don’t overdo it. If you strip your skin’s moisture barrier with harsh chemicals, you’ll just make it worse. (Ask how we know.)
Digestive Issues (The Great Toilet Drama)
Your period can either constipate you or turn your bathroom visits into a scene from a disaster movie.
How to Cope:
- Stay hydrated and eat fiber-rich foods to keep things moving.
- Ginger tea or peppermint can help with bloating and cramping.
- Accept that period poop is just part of the journey and carry on.
Headaches (The Brain’s Protest)
Period headaches feel like your brain throwing a hissy fit just because your hormones decided to switch things up. They can range from mildly annoying to full-on “I want to put my head in a blender!” levels of agony.
How to Cope:
• Hydration is key – sometimes your brain just needs a tall glass of water.
• Over-the-counter painkillers like aspirin or ibuprofen can help.
• Try relaxing in a dim, quiet space. Ideally, one where you can be left the f**k alone in peace.
Lower Back Pain (The Uterus’ Passive-Aggressive Friend)
The ache that keeps on giving, even when you’d rather it didn’t. It’s dull, persistent, and ridiculously inconvenient.
How to Cope:
• Heating pads or warm baths can ease the ache.
• Stretching or light yoga can help loosen those tight muscles.
• Consider posture support when sitting. Or just lie flat and call it a day.
Muscle Aches (The Surprise Marathon)
Somehow, your period convinces your muscles that you’ve been doing Olympic-level training. Spoiler alert: you haven’t. But here you are, feeling sore and questioning everything.
How to Cope:
• Magnesium supplements might help relax those rebellious muscles.
• A warm bath with Epsom salts = instant relief.
• Light exercise might actually help—emphasis on might.
Trouble Sleeping (The Midnight Menace)
Periods and sleep don’t mix well, thanks to cramps, bloating, and hormones throwing a rager in your body. Cue the tossing, turning, and 3 a.m. existential crises.
How to Cope:
• Establish a calming bedtime routine – think herbal tea, a good book, or soothing music. Masturbation or sex also works great!
• Try a weighted blanket for comfort.
• Limit screen time before bed (yes, TikTok can wait).
What Causes Period Symptoms?
In short: hormones.
Specifically, estrogen and progesterone. These two troublemakers fluctuate throughout your cycle, and when they drop right before your period, they trigger all the fun stuff like mood swings, cramps, and acne.
There are a few factors that can make symptoms worse, including:
- Stress: It messes with everything, including your period.
- Diet: Too much sugar, salt, or caffeine can amplify symptoms.
- Sleep: Not getting enough rest can make everything worse.
- Underlying conditions: Like PCOS or endometriosis, which can make periods extra hellish.
Pam’s Thoughts
Periods can feel like absolute trash. They’re messy, painful, and come with a side of emotional chaos that no one really asked for. But they’re also a sign of a healthy reproductive system, and hey, a free pass to binge on chocolate in your ‘loungewear.’
The next time your period symptoms have you cursing your uterus, just remember this is just your body doing its thing, even if she is a little dramatic about it. But we will join you in lodging a formal complaint with Mother Nature if you can find her email address.
And if it’s too much and sending you over the edge, scream into a pillow. It helps. Promise.
FAQs About Period Symptoms
What are the signs that your period is coming?
Your body might drop some unsubtle hints: mood swings, bloating, tender boobs, and the sudden urge to devour every edible thing in sight.
What are the symptoms during your period?
Cramps, fatigue, and mood swings are the headliners, with bloating, backaches, and general grumpiness making up the opening acts.
How many days are period symptoms?
Typically, symptoms can start a few days before your period and hang around for 2-7 days – kind of like an unwanted houseguest.
What period symptoms are not normal?
If your cramps are causing an abnormal amount of pain, your flow could rival Niagara Falls, or you’re passing out, it’s time to call your doctor ASAP
Can period symptoms change over time?
Yes, they can. Factors like age, stress, or changes in birth control can all impact your symptoms.
Does everyone get PMS?
Not everyone but around 75% of women experience some form of premenstrual symptoms. Lucky us!
Can diet or exercise help?
Absolutely. Eating well and staying active can reduce bloating, cramps, and mood swings. But also, if you want to binge Netflix and eat fries, I fully support that.
